Heath

Heath Ledger was found dead in his apartment. That happened today. He was naked, and there were sleeping pills nearby. Marilyn Monroe. His image was on my TV screen just the other night. A cowboy so incapable of expressing what was inside him, he spoke through a clenched jaw. His performance was powerful. Heart breaking. I'd never really seen anything he'd done before, and couldn't help wondering what else this guy was capable of doing.

I booked a commercial today. Just a day's pay, but I am so grateful. Happy to know that it can be done. That I can pass an audition, make it through callbacks and land a job. It's a modest achievement, certainly, but it's also a glimmer of hope. Don't give up. No matter how many years you have struggled without any measure of success, with nothing under your feet, or how many moments of hope and promise have led to disappointment and despair, still don't give up. Still keep going.

We do not yet know how Heath Ledger died, but we do know he is not the first actor to die young, and to leave behind unexplored potential. He could have picked up the phone and called his favorite writer or director and asked to be included in their next project. He could have played Hamlet on Broadway. He could have created a green light for an unfunded independent film just by attaching his name to it. He was famous and talented and handsome and had all of life laying out in front of him for the taking.

It's sad. Why should his life be over so soon? He had every opportunity I do not. We all have obstacles to face, I know, and not everything is as it seems, but I so desperately hope that drug use did not play a part in Heath Ledger's death. It would be terrible to think that someone who had so much could have been missing the small glimmer that says don't give up. Still keep going.